"'Twas the Day After Christmas."
'Twas the day after Christmas 'neath the Capitol dome
It was quiet for a change, Congress finally went home.
They stayed longer than usual, and actually found
Not a lot to be sure, but SOME common ground.
The Tea Party hollered, Sarah Palin went huntin'
The Left Wing cried foul, said she didn't know nuttin'.
POTUS and FLOTUS were gone with the breeze
To Hawaii they went, why not if they please?
With no stories, reporters adjourned to the bars
The newscasting subs sat in for the stars.
I was just sleepy--needed rest for my brain
And what happened next, I still can't explain
In my dreaming I saw, on the Capitol lawn
A man cracking a whip by first light of dawn.
He was trying to herd some wacky reindeer
Running every which way, first there and then here.
His face was bright orange, a suntan hall-of-famer.
I knew in a flash it must be John Boehner
He hollered, cajoled, oh how he did plead
But the deer wouldn't listen. Each wanted to lead.
Stop Cantor! Quiet Bachmann! Sit down Mr. Pence!
Line up like a team. Please don't jump the fence.
You're feeling your oats and already feel cozy.
But so did that lady named Nancy Pelosi.
She reached for the sky.. and wound up in the soup
So these days she's herding a much smaller group.
Her reindeer still snort that it wasn't their fault
Whatever it was, they were brought to a halt.
As that scene faded out, Boehner lit up a smoke
Then I could see Waikiki and this is no joke.
Potus was out running hard in the tropical sand.
Birth certificate clutched, real tight, in his hand,
'Can't be too careful,' he told his wife's mother
'Arizona police may be here under cover.
'It's been a tough year, a difficult trip
'Then wouldn't you know? I busted my lip
'My own party against me, will that be my fate?.
'Or can Ole Clinton teach me to tri-ang-u-late?'
My dream got confusing, I really was torn
The old bulls still fought locking horn against horn..
The way they were acting it was sure easy enough
To see no good thing coming from this kind of stuff.
Then I thought of this year and for all the bad talk..
How, before it was over, the lame duck did walk..
The START Treaty was finally beginning to jell,
Taxes stayed even, we can ask and yes, tell.
That's why I can close this holiday letter
With Happy New Year to all! It's bound to get better!
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